Welcome to Day 22 of what has become, for me, quite the experience. And by that I mean both in terms of participating in the experiment itself and by creating it and administering it for it’s duration. I’ve learned things from both sides of the experience, and that was a bit unexpected.
I knew I’d get benefit from the actual experiment and I certainly have. Both on the meditation side of it and the awareness word of the day side of it. But I really didn’t think about the administration of it. the daily creating of that day’s post. And in that I learned some simple discipline. A daily practice of preparing and writing the post. And that has been a good thing and an enlightening thing. While I prepared the images and words ahead of time, I only really got the first 3-4 posts worked up before launching the project. I realized in writing those that I didn’t want to “get ahead” of the project. I wanted to be in it like you are in it.
And that’s been an interesting process. I discovered that yes, at sometimes, I felt like “Damn, I got to get back and write that post.” or that I would sometimes try and write it before I was ready to. And I’ve come to love the experience of writing these. Yes, I have experienced resistance. I don’t consider myself much of a writer, it’s not an area I’ve ever truly felt all that comfortable with. When it comes to grammar and such, I confess to having not paid a great deal of attention back in school. So the experience of this blog and in particular, this project has been one of doing that which I am least comfortable with.
Which has got me to thinking about lots of other things I was and am not comfortable with. Quitting smoking for one. That’s a big one for me. Talk about choosing to avoid pain over gaining pleasure… yikes! And I have done this several times in the past only to end up failing and then rationalizing that failure. I’ve had countless excuses and rationalizations. And talk about something I’d always put off to “tomorrow”… quitting smoking was the big one.
I smoked for the better part of nearly 40 years. And enjoyed it for the most part. However I have arrived, partially through the work of this blog, partially through the influence of my beloved soul mate Zengirl, at a place where failure is truly no longer an option. Arrived at a place where gaining pleasure has at last outweighed avoiding pain. I have finally quit smoking. Yes, it’s just the end of day two, and yes, I am using an electronic cigarette, but I am confident, knowing in a way I haven’t felt or known before, that I am truly done with the death sticks.
So yes, quite an impact.
For those of you who are new to this, click here for Day One which will give you a taste of what this is about.
For those of you returning…
Here’s today’s meditation image…
Today’s word is “trust”…
As always your thoughts, insights, opinions and feelings are cherished and most treasured by the staff here at The Square. So, if you feel like it please share…
Yours in possibility,
P.S. To my beloved Zengirl… thank you for your wisdom and your strength… I will always be grateful for the gift that you are.